TOPIK results day

1 February 2018

TODAY is THE day! After taking my first ever TOPIK exam on January 14th, our exam results were out today at 3pm (Korean local time)!

If I could only use one word to describe my feelings when I got the results, it would be:

SURPRISED

Then, after everything settled down, my current mood is:

OVERJOYED & GRATEFUL & RELIEVED & STILL SURPRISED

To be honest, I think at the end of the day, even I myself didn’t believe in myself. In this battle (of mastering Korean in order to continue with this scholarship, and also life in general), we only have ourselves so what happens if we lose faith in someone we see in the mirror everyday?

Sometimes a tiny bit of confidence is all we need. A tiny bit, from the inside…

-OMG why am I getting so philosophical and emotional when I am writing this-

I just wanna pen down my exact thoughts and feelings of getting the results I long for on my blog so I can hopefully look back 10,20,30 etc years later and maybe reminiscent my student life. For those who are curious, here is some back story.

Back then when I first gotten this scholarship, I found out that if we get TOPIK 5 we would receive 100,000won extra for our monthly allowance. Which is a really good deal because any extra money is good anyway so why not right?

I entered my language course and attended classes with the goal of TOPIK 5 by end of the language year (i.e. before I go to Seoul for my masters) because hey, after all even though I had a head start but TOPIK 5 is like… quite a high level to achieve after all. I wasn’t going to pressure myself from the start, but the education system here somehow doesn’t allow us to slack (?) too much. Day and night we are literally facing Korean wherever we went and in whatever we do, which is a good thing because it pushes me to improve, if not I would not be able to even survive. But also, it could be bad because it stresses us out so much too.

So by the time December 2017 came, we were 4 months into the language classes, and I thought to myself…Why don’t I aim for TOPIK 5 in the January test so I don’t have to be stressed out for a longer period? I was greedy perhaps… Greedy for a stress-free and burden-free time so that I can enjoy my life here instead of having to worry 24/7 about exams and squeezing in more vocab. I told my parents and some friends about this. My parents were of course, super confident that I could definitely do it because they don’t know how hard it could be hahahaha. Some friends were supportive, some were skeptical. But let’s just say deep down inside I somehow placed it as a higher goal, with a condition (from myself to myself lol) that I won’t put too much stress and burden on it. I was planning to aim high, but even if I didn’t get it in the end, I promised myself to work harder for another attempt in April 2018.

A week before TOPIK, I was literally having a vocab pumping session for 2 weeks just to memorize as much vocab as I can. Despite having a solid background in Mandarin, which undeniably does help me understand a lot faster and memorize words easier, it was a tough road. On the weekend, I memorized 230 words per day, which made it 230 x 2 = 460 words in TWO DAYS! Obviously I couldn’t remember 100% but I gotta do what I gotta do right? At that point of time I was so close to giving up my higher goal and I was just OK to settle with just a TOPIK 3 by January so at least I am sure I could keep my scholarship and advance to Yonsei by August.

On TOPIK day, the exam lasted for a few hours. It was bad. The first part, which involves the listening test (aka my strongest part for the entire exam) was so difficult for me. I missed the tempo wayyy earlier during the paper. At the first ten questions I already started fumbling and panicking. I was disappointed with my performance but since there was no time to waste, I went on with the writing test, which was surprisingly easier than expected and fortunately I managed to finish writing everything I needed on time. After the short 20 minutes break, the reading test came and, I am not sure if I am just tired or too disheartened by my listening test portion, reading was hard too! In the normal trial runs I did, question 35 would be my limit (as in question 36 onwards would be harder to understand for me, which means I make more mistakes and I need more time to read through everything). But during the test, the limit came at question 20+.

Coming out from the exam hall, it seemed like everyone agreed that reading and listening was hard and writing was easy. So by then I kinda flushed my TOPIK 5 goal by January into the drain because it seemed so impossible to score 190/300 with that level of test difficulty.

Fast forward two weeks later, here we are on results day. And I am proud to say, I am starting 2018 with a BANG because,

I GOT TOPIK 5!

Which also mean, I have fulfilled my goal of the year, on the second month of the year!

#roadtorank5 has officially come to an end. But not without a series of scares hahahahaha. I was having butterflies in my tummy by 2.50pm because my friend back in Malaysia was supposed to help me check my results since I had an extra class by then. And finally the results came in a blurry photo hahahaha. But nevertheless after looking intensely and confirming, it was TOPIK 5 indeed!

Of course needless to say, I discovered in mid class and my grades are no longer a secret anymore hahahaha. I am glad I made my teachers proud and my parent’s happy. And most importantly, I am just glad that this is over and I can chill for now before starting my masters degree.

Last but not least, here comes the ending credits before I end my post~

I wanna thank God for answering my prayers (and also my parents’ prayers because I know they prayed harder than me hahahaha) and knowing my heart’s desire and needs. Because that additional 100,000won would surely be needed once I move to Seoul.

I also wanna thank my parents for being my super fans and believing I could do it. They set high standards for me since I was young, which I think was the crucial teaching that eventually led to my disciplined style of studying and doing things in general. I want to make them proud, in which I believe I managed to today. In addition, also Hax Rollers and A6 (Hi guys, are you reading this?) for always being positive and supportive too!

Also, a huge thank you for my Korean teachers. They are the best! After all the endless feedback on my writing and grammar questions, they correct even the smallest mistakes, which helped me learned and scored well especially in my writing. It was really nice to see them smiling so brightly upon hearing our results. And I hope we manage to make them proud too~

Last but not least, I would like to thank Google Translate (LOOOOL) because who uses dictionary anymore these days? Even though sometimes you gave me the wrong translation, but at least sometimes you know what I am trying to say even if I type things wrongly hahahahaaha.

After a long long day and a long long struggle, it is time to call it a day and relax until September!

#roadtorank5completed